The hymn "Count Your Blessings" has been a long time favorite of mine. But I must admit, to my shame, that there have been times where I've allowed my faith to be shaken and struggled with moments of despair. During a very trying time of life a church friend gave me this journal ... "Counting My Blessings - a journal of things to be thankful for." It is merely pages of daily boxes where you remember 5 things to be grateful for that day.
During those dark days I wrote an entry "Count my blessings? What blessings? What are they anyway? Where do you get them? Do you have to pay for them? Are they available? Today my name isn't on any of them." sigh..... a window into what teetering on the edge of hopelessness looks like. God was patient with me during that time.... and so very loving. Those of you who have found yourself asking hard questions of God may identify.
On another day I listed:
1. Jay - the love of my life
2. Mike - a man desiring after God's heart
3. Jess - my wonderful friend and helper
4. Jason - a heart of gold and smile of diamonds
5. my home - at least for now.
My family means much to me!
The journey of feeling so close to hopelessness had me desiring to truly count my blessings - because in the deepest part of my soul I KNEW there were blessings - but I felt I could only repeat the above 5 things. So I did because I really DID have 5 blessings.... I counted them. The Lord continues to teach me much about trust and today when I count my blessings I run out of time before numbers. We serve a God who is sovereign and in control! That will be my #1 entry on my list this morning.
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